Les Misérables: Vocal Warmups

I’m a victim and I will not stay quiet

Over-share Story Time

1. I have a condition that causes my vagina to produce excess fluid and mucous regardless of whether or not I am aroused. This means I have to wear underwear at all times with at least a liner (typically though, I need a thin pad) to catch it all. I’m also allergic to most perfumes and deodorants, which means I can’t use them which means my crotch smells like sex at all times. If I don’t wear a liner, I have to change my underwear and whatever pants or skirt that I’m wearing at least once during the day.
2. I have been sexually assaulted twice in my lifetime. Once when I was 15 and a second time when I was 22. The first time, it was a young boy, who was 18, and I turned him in. The second time, it was an D-list actor at a fan convention and I didn’t turn him in, which I regret to this day.
3. “No” means “No.” “No” means “STOP WHAT YOU’RE DOING, THIS IS NOT WHAT I WANT.” Nothing else matters in that situation except for that word. It doesn’t matter what I’m wearing, where I am, what I have said to you prior to that moment, how my body reacts, what we have done together in the past, how old I am, how old you think I am, how experienced you think I am, how you think I feel about you, or even if I’m weak in my resistance or inhibited or laughing as I am saying the word. If I say “no” and you don’t back off? That is ASSAULT.

My name is Allyson. I’m a relatively thin and pretty 28-year old pansexual well-educated white woman with a loud voice and testy temperament who quietly tenses up and is unable to defend herself when another person gets fresh because I’m terrified of being assaulted, again. I’ve been reduced to tears at parties and on dance floors because people don’t take “no” for an answer. I’ve been ridiculed and called a “bitch,” “whore,” and “slut” for having casual sex twice in my lifetime. I’ve been called a “liar” and “attention-seeker” for sharing my story and daring to include the names of my assaulters — a young man from South Africa named Obina and an actor/gang member named Francis Capra. I’ve been told I’m being “ridiculous” for calling out assault and rape situations for what they are when they are featured in media — e.g. the “keister egg” rape of a male in Season 3 of Veronica Mars and the sexual intimidation and assault of Erica in Season 2 of Teen Wolf. I won’t even go into what I’ve been called as a extroverted woman in a primarily introverted and male populated field of study and career choice.

Don’t sit there and tell me that rape culture is getting “better” in America and across the globe. It’s not and I doubt it will be for a long time.

I’m not asking you to reblog this post. I’m just telling you my story and I’m doing it on my blog with the most exposure for a reason: I want my fellow victims to know that they are not alone and I am here for them if they need to talk. The ask box is always open and you may ask for my e-mail address or instant messaging handles.

stonesourwolf:

See a post from Total Film about Katee Sackhoff being cast in a project called “Female Expendables” and go to the source to see if there is newer information. See this bullshit in the comments section. I’d respond with more ICONIC ACTION HERO WOMEN who are not having this shit, but I think Sigourney Weaver rests my case.